Fishing Sea

Pinsir is good with attack, so I was thinking something along the lines of:

Swords Dance, Super Power, Brick Break, X-Scissor

Opinions?

Close Combat instead of Superpower

Teach Him Earthquake Instead Of Brick Break

thats it

Sword Dance, Earthquake or Rock Slide, Close Combat (learns by Breeding), X-Scissor

Pinsir A Bug type Pokemon With Lots Of Fighting Moves He Reminds Me Of Heracross

Superpower lowers attack and defense
but Close Combat Lowers Sp.Def And Defense

Give Me The Best Answer Please!

2007-09-02 16:50:59 by ikesimonelli

So, do you WAX?????

Only a woman can laugh at this. No one else would dare! Hope you enjoy!
This has to be one of the funniest and most awful scenarios I have ever
heard of... Bless this woman!!!

All hair removal methods have tricked us with their promises of easy,
painless removal. The epilady, scissors, razors, Nair and now.... The Wax!!

My night began as any other normal weekday night. Come home; fix dinner;
played with the kids. I then had the thought that would ring painfully in my

mind for the next few hours; "Maybe I should do the hair removal thing for
the month?"

So I headed to the site of my demise; the bathroom. It was one of those cold
wax kits. No melting a clump of hot wax, you just rub the strips together in

your hand and then they get warm and you peel them apart, press it to your
leg (or wherever else) and hair comes right off! No mess, no fuss. How hard
can it be? I mean, I'm no girly, girl, but am mechanically inclined enough
that I can figure it out.

*YA THINK!!!*

So I pull one of the thin strips out. It's two strips facing each together,
stuck together. Instead of rubbing them together, I get out the hairdryer
and heat it to 1000 degrees. Cold wax my rear end (Oh, how this phrase
haunts me!).

I lay the strip across my thigh. Hold the skin around it tight and pull.

OK... So it wasn't the best feeling, but it wasn't too bad. I can do
this!!!

Hair removal no longer eludes me!! I am She-Ra, fighter of all wayward body
hair and smooth skin extraordinaire!!

With my next wax strip, I move "north". After checking on the kids, I sneak
back into the bathroom for the ultimate hair fighting championship. I drop
my panties and place one foot on the toilet.

Using the same procedure, I apply the wax strip across the right side of the

bikini line, covering the right half of my vagina and stretching down to the

inside of my butt cheek (Yes, it was a long strip). I inhale deeply and
brace myself....

RRRRIIIIIIPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!

I'm Blind!!!!! Blinded from pain!!!!!!... OH DEAR GOD !!!!!!!!!!!

I'm making noises that only dogs can hear .

Vision slowly returning, I notice that I've only managed to pull off half
of

the strip. S**T!!! Another deep breath and RRIIPP...

Everything is swirly and spotted . I cannot breath or speak - I have
forgotten how ..

Do I hear crashing drums?????

Wait a few minutes and I'm back to normal (nearly) After all this I want to
see my trophy !!! - A wax covered strip with my hairy pelt that has caused
me so much pain, sticking to it. I want to revel in the glory that is my
triumph over body hair. I hold up the strip!

There's no hair on it!

Where is the hair?? WHERE IS THE WAX? Slowly I ease my head down, foot still

perched on the toilet. I see the hair... The hair that should be on the
strip. I touch. I am touching wax. S**T!!! I run my fingers over the most
sensitive part of my body, which is now covered in cold wax and matted hair.

Then I make the next BIG mistake . . . . . .

Remember, my foot is still propped up on the toilet. I know I need to do
something, so I put my foot down.

DAMN!!! I hear the slamming of the cell door.

Vagina? Sealed shut!

Butt?? Sealed shut!!!

I penguin walk around the bathroom, trying to figure out what to do and
think to myself, "Please don't let me get the urge to poop. My head may pop off."

Hot water!! Hot water melts wax!! I'll run the hottest water I can stand
into the bathtub, get in, immerse the wax covered bits and the wax should
melt and I can gently wipe it off, right??

WRONG!!!!

I get in the tub - The water is slightly hotter than then that used to
torture prisoners of war or sterilize surgical equipment - I sit.

Now, the only thing worse that having your nether businesses glued together
is having them glued together and then glued to the bottom of the tub.

In scalding hot water!! (Which, by the way, doesn't melt cold wax) So, now
I'm stuck to the bottom of the tub!!! God bless the man what convinced me I
should have a phone in the bathroom!!! I call my friend, thinking surely
she's waxed before and has come secret of how to get me undone. It's a very
good conversation starter, "So my butt and who-ha are stuck to the bottom of the tub!

There is a slight pause. She doesn't have a secret trick, but does try to
hide the laughter from me. She wants to know exactly where the wax is
located.

"Are we talking buttock cheek or is it covering - you know -
Everywhere(cringe factor 20000 at this point) ?"

She's laughing out loud by now...I can hear her. I give her the rundown and
she suggests I call the number on the side of the box.

YEAH RIGHT!!!!!!

I should be the 'butt' of someone else's work-night jokes.

While we go through various solutions, I resort to scraping the wax off with
a razor. Nothing feels better then to have your girlie goodies covered in
hot wax, glued shut, stuck to the tub in super hot water, and then dry
shaving the sticky wax off!!!

By now, the brain is not working, dignity has taken a major hike and I slip
into glazed donut land. My friend is still talking with me and my hand
reaches towards the saving grace...The lotion they give you to remove the
excess wax.

What do I really have to lose at this point. I rub some on and OH MY
GOD!!!!! The scream probably woke the kids, scared the dickens out of my
friend, but I really don't care!!

"IT WORKS!! IT WORKS!!" I get a hearty congratulation from my friend and
she hangs up. I successfully remove the remainder of the wax and then notice, to
my grief and despair...

THE HAIR IS STILL THERE... ALL OF IT!!!!!!!!!!!

So, I shaved it off. Heck, I'm numb at this point.

Next week I'm going to try hair colour . . . .
No this didn`t happen to me!

wow what can i say?

that is possibly the best thing i have ever read on yahoo and probably the best thing i will ever read

i laughed so much that it took me ages to read it all as i couldnt see the screen

2006-12-07 16:24:41 by Tink

One of my favourites.

So, do you WAX?????

Only a woman can laugh at this. No one else would dare! Hope you enjoy!
This has to be one of the funniest and most awful scenarios I have ever
heard of... Bless this woman!!!

All hair removal methods have tricked us with their promises of easy,
painless removal. The epilady, scissors, razors, Nair, and now.... The Wax!!

My night began as any other normal weekday night. Come home; fix dinner;
played with the kids. I then had the thought that would ring painfully in my
mind for the next few hours; "Maybe I should do the hair removal thing for
the month?"

So I headed to the site of my demise; the bathroom. It was one of those cold
wax kits. No melting a clump of hot wax, you just rub the strips together in
your hand and then they get warm and you peel them apart, press it to your
leg (or wherever else) and hair comes right off! No mess, no fuss. How hard
can it be? I mean, I'm no girly, girl, but am mechanically inclined enough
that I can figure it out.

*YA THINK!!!*

So I pull one of the thin strips out. It's two strips facing each together,
stuck together. Instead of rubbing them together, I get out the hairdryer
and heat it to 1000 degrees. Cold wax my r e a r end (Oh, how this phrase
haunts me!).

I lay the strip across my thigh. Hold the skin around it tight and pull.
OK... So it wasn't the best feeling, but it wasn't too bad. I can do
this!!!

Hair removal no longer eludes me!! I am She-Ra, fighter of all wayward body
hair and smooth skin extraordinaire!!

With my next wax strip, I move "north". After checking on the kids, I sneak
back into the bathroom for the ultimate hair fighting championship. I drop
my p a n t i e s and place one foot on the toilet.

Using the same procedure, I apply the wax strip across the right side of the
bikini line, covering the right half of my 'you know what' and stretching down to the
inside of my b u t t cheek (Yes, it was a long strip). I inhale deeply and
brace myself....

RRRRIIIIIIPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!

I'm Blind!!!!! Blinded from pain!!!!!!... OH DEAR GOD !!!!!!!!!!!

I'm making noises that only dogs can hear .

Vision slowly returning, I notice that I've only managed to pull off half
of the strip. S**T!!! Another deep breath and RRIIPP...

Everything is swirly and spotted . I cannot breath or speak - I have
forgotten how ..

Do I hear crashing drums?????

Wait a few minutes and I'm back to normal (nearly) After all this I want to
see my trophy !!! - A wax covered strip with my hairy pelt that has caused
me so much pain, sticking to it. I want to revel in the glory that is my
triumph over body hair. I hold up the strip!

There's no hair on it!

Where is the hair?? WHERE IS THE WAX? Slowly I ease my head down, foot still
perched on the toilet. I see the hair... The hair that should be on the
strip. I touch. I am touching wax. S**T!!! I run my fingers over the most
sensitive part of my body, which is now covered in cold wax and matted hair.

Then I make the next BIG mistake . . . . . .

Remember, my foot is still propped up on the toilet. I know I need to do
something, so I put my foot down.

DAMN!!! I hear the slamming of the cell door.

V? Sealed shut!

B u t t?? Sealed shut!!!

I penguin walk around the bathroom, trying to figure out what to do and
think to myself, "Please don't let me get the urge to poop. My head may pop off."

Hot water!! Hot water melts wax!! I'll run the hottest water I can stand
into the bathtub, get in, immerse the wax covered bits and the wax should
melt and I can gently wipe it off, right??

WRONG!!!!

I get in the tub - The water is slightly hotter than then that used to
torture prisoners of war or sterilise surgical equipment - I sit.

Now, the only thing worse that having your nether businesses glued together
is having them glued together and then glued to the bottom of the tub.
In scalding hot water!! (Which, by the way, doesn't melt cold wax) So, now
I'm stuck to the bottom of the tub!!! God bless the man what convinced me I
should have a phone in the bathroom!!! I call my friend, thinking surely
she's waxed before and has come secret of how to get me undone. It's a very
good conversation starter, "So my b u t t and who-ha are stuck to the bottom of the tub!

There is a slight pause. She doesn't have a secret trick, but does try to
hide the laughter from me. She wants to know exactly where the wax is
located.

"Are we talking b u t t o c k cheek or is it covering - you know -
Everywhere(cringe factor 20000 at this point) ?"

She's laughing out loud by now...I can hear her. I give her the rundown and
she suggests I call the number on the side of the box.

YEAH RIGHT!!!!!!

I should be the 'b u t t' of someone else's work-night jokes.

While we go through various solutions, I resort to scraping the wax off with
a razor. Nothing feels better then to have your girlie goodies covered in
hot wax, glued shut, stuck to the tub in super hot water, and then dry
shaving the sticky wax off!!!

By now, the brain is not working, dignity has taken a major hike and I slip
into glazed donut land. My friend is still talking with me and my hand
reaches towards the saving grace...The lotion they give you to remove the
excess wax.

What do I really have to lose at this point. I rub some on and OH MY
GOD!!!!! The scream probably woke the kids, scared the dickens out of my
friend, but I really don't care!!

"IT WORKS!! IT WORKS!!" I get a hearty congratulation from my friend and
she hangs up. I successfully remove the remainder of the wax and then notice, to
my grief and despair...

THE HAIR IS STILL THERE... ALL OF IT!!!!!!!!!!!

So, I shaved it off. Heck, I'm numb at this point.

Next week I'm going to try hair colour . . . .

OMG!!!!!!!!! I actually know women who've tried this....no wonder they all have that look on their faces when I ask how their night went....LOL.....

You'll have to excuse me, I need tissue's for these tears of laughter!!!!!!!LOL

Ta very much for the joke......LOL

2007-05-05 17:08:32 by Tink

All hair removal methods have tricked women with their promises of easy, painless removal - The epilady, scissors, razors, Nair and now...the wax.
My night began as any other normal weeknight. Come home, fix dinner, play with the kids. I then had the thought that would ring painfully in my mind for the next few hours: "Maybe I should pull the waxing kit out of the medicine cabinet." So I headed to the site of my demise: the bathroom. It was one of those "cold wax" kits. No melting a clump of hot wax, you just rub the strips together in your hand, they get warm and you peel them apart and press them to your leg (or wherever else) and you pull the hair right off. No muss, no fuss. How hard can it be? I mean, I'm not a genius, but I am mechanically inclined enough to figure this out. !
(YA THINK!?!)

So I pull one of the thin strips out. Its two strips facing each other stuck together. Instead of rubbing them together, my genius kicks in so I get out the hair dryer and heat it to 1000 degrees. ("Cold wax," yeah...right!) I lay the strip across my thigh. Hold the skin around it tight and pull. It works! OK, so it wasn't the best feeling, but it wasn't too bad. I can do this! Hair removal no longer eludes me! I am She-rah, fighter of all wayward body hair and maker of smooth skin extraordinaire.
With my next wax strip I move north. After checking on the kids, I sneak back into the bathroom, for the ultimate hair fighting championship. I drop my panties and place one foot on the toilet. Using the same procedure, I apply the one strip across the right side of my bikini line, covering the right half of my *hoo-hoo* and stretching down to the inside of my butt cheek (Yes, it was a long strip) I inhale deeply and brace myself....RRRRIIIPPP!!!!
I'm blind!!! Blinded from pain!!!!....OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!! Vision returning, I notice that I've only managed to pull off half the strip. OH NO! What have I done???!!! Another deep breath and RRRIIIPPP!! Everything is swirly and spotted. I think I may pass out...must stay conscious...Do I hear crashing drums??? Breathe, breathe...OK, back to normal.
I want to see my trophy - a wax covered strip, the one that has caused me so much pain, with my hairy pelt sticking to it. I want to revel in the glory that is my triumph over body hair. I hold up the strip! There's no hair on it. Where is the hair??? WHERE IS THE WAX???

Slowly I ease my head down, foot still perched on the toilet. I see the hair. The hair that should be on the strip. I touch. I am touching wax.
WHAT?! I run my fingers over the most sensitive part of my body, which is now covered in cold wax and matted hair.
Then I make the next BIG mistake...remember my foot is still propped up on the toilet? I know I need to do something. So I put my foot down. My LIFE FLASHES BEFORE ME!!!!!! I hear the slamming of a cell door. *hoo-hoo*? Sealed shut! Butt?? Sealed shut!

I penguin-walk around the bathroom trying to figure out what to do and think to myself "Please don't let me get the urge to poop. My head may pop off!"
What can I do to melt the wax? Hot water!! Hot water melts wax!!! I'll run the hottest water I can stand into the bathtub, get in, immerse the wax-covered bits and the wax should melt and I can gently wipe it off, right??? WRONG!!!!!!!

I get in the tub - the water is slightly hotter than that used to torture prisoners of war or sterilize surgical equipment - I sit.
Now, the only thing worse than having your nether, regions glued together is having them glued together and then glued to the bottom of the tub...in scalding hot water. Which, by the way, doesn't melt cold wax.
So, now I'm stuck to the bottom of the tub as though I had cement-epoxied myself to the porcelain!!

God bless the man who had convinced me a few months ago to have a phone put in the bathroom!!!!!
I call my friend, thinking surely she has waxed before and has some secret of how to get me undone. It's a very good conversation starter - "So, my butt and *hoo-hoo* are glued together to the bottom of the tub!"
There is a slight pause. She doesn't know any secret tricks for removal but she does try to hide her laughter from me. She wants to know exactly where the wax is located, "Are we talking cheeks or *hoo-hoo*?" She's laughing out loud by now...I can hear her. I give her the rundown and she suggests I call the number on the side of the box.

YEAH!!!!! Right!! Like I should be the joke of someone else's night.

While we go through various solutions. I resort to scraping the wax off with a razor. Nothing feels better then to have your girlie goodies covered in hot wax, glued shut, stuck to the tub in super hot water and then dry-shaving the sticky wax off!! By now the brain is not working, dignity has taken a major dive and I'm pretty sure I'm going to need Post-Traumatic Stress counseling for this event.
My friend is still talking with me when I finally see my saving grace....the lotion they give you to remove the excess wax. What do I really have to lose at this point? I rub some on and OH MY GOD!!!!!!!
The scream probably woke the kids and scared the dickens out of my friend. It's sooo painful, but I really don't care. "IT WORKS!! It works!!"

I get a hearty congratulation from my friend and she hangs up. I successfully remove the remainder of the wax and then notice to my grief and despair....

THE HAIR IS STILL THERE.......ALL OF IT!!!!!!!!!!

So I recklessly shave it off. Heck, I'm numb by now. Nothing hurts. I could have amputated my own leg at this point.

Next week I'm going to try hair color......
ermmm its a joke?

anyone says that's not funny has no sense of humor...
but i've gotta give it up to you for tryin so hard n postin it here. salut...

2007-01-19 03:17:37 by LunaFaye

just had to send this too you - hysterical!! No wonder I still shave
> my legs......!
>
> > Only a woman can laugh at this. No one else would
> dare! Hope you
> enjoy!
> >
> > This has to be one of the funniest and most awful
> scenarios I have
> ever
> > heard of... Bless this woman!!!
> > All hair removal methods have tricked us with their
> promises of easy,
> > painless removal. The epilady, scissors, razors,
> Nair and now.... The
> > Wax!!
> >
> > My night began as any other normal weekday night.
> Come home; fix
> > dinner; played with the kids. I then had the thought
> that would ring
> > painfully in my mind for the next few hours; 'Maybe
> I should do the
> hair
> > removal thing for the month?'
> >
> > So I headed to the site of my demise; the bathroom.
> It was one of
> those
> > cold wax kits. No melting a clump of hot wax, you
> just rub the strips
> > together in your hand and then they get warm and you
> peel them apart,
> > press it to your leg (or wherever else) and hair
> comes right off! No
> > mess, no fuss. How hard can it be? I mean, I'm no
> girly, girl, but am
> > mechanically inclined enough that I can figure it
> out.
> >
> > *YA THINK!!!*
> > So I pull one of the thin strips out. It's two
> strips facing each
> > together, stuck together. Instead of rubbing them
> together, I get out
> > the hairdryer and heat it to 1000 degrees. Cold wax
> my rear end (Oh,
> how
> > this phrase haunts me!).
> >
> > I lay the strip across my thigh. Hold the skin
> around it tight and
> > pull. OK... So it wasn't the best feeling, but it
> wasn't too bad. I
> can
> > do this!!! Hair removal no longer eludes me!! I am
> She-Ra, fighter of
> > all wayward body hair and smooth skin
> extraordinaire!!
> >
> > With my next wax strip, I move 'north'. After
> checking on the kids, I
> > sneak back into the bathroom for the ultimate hair
> fighting
> > championship. I drop my panties and place one foot
> on the toilet.
> >
> > Using the same procedure, I apply the wax strip
> across the right side
> > of the bikini line, covering the right half of my
> vagina and
> stretching
> > down to the inside of my butt cheek (Yes, it was a
> long strip). I
> inhale
> > deeply and brace myself....
> >
> > RRRRIIIIIIPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!
> > I'm Blind!!!!! Blinded from pain!!!!!!... OH DEAR
> GOD !!!!!!!!!!! I'm
> > making noises that only dogs can hear.
> >
> > Vision slowly returning, I notice that I've only
> managed to pull off
> > half of the strip. S**T!!! Another deep breath and
> RRIIPP...
> >
> > Everything is swirly and spotted . I cannot breath
> or speak - I have
> > forgotten how ..
> > Do I hear crashing drums?????
> >
> > Wait a few minutes and I'm back to normal (nearly)
> After all this I
> > want to see my trophy !!! - A wax covered strip with
> my hairy pelt
> that
> > has caused me so much pain, sticking to it. I want
> to revel in the
> glory
> > that is my triumph over body hair. I hold up the
> strip!
> >
> > There's no hair on it! Where is the hair?? WHERE IS
> THE WAX? Slowly I
> > ease my head down, foot still perched on the toilet.
> I see the
> hair...
> > The hair that should be
> > on the strip. I touch. I am touching wax. S**T!!! I
> run my fingers
> over
> > the most sensitive part of my body, which is now
> covered in cold wax
> and
> > matted hair.
> >
> > Then I make the next BIG mistake . . . . . .
> > Remember, my foot is still propped up on the toilet.
> I know I need to
> > do something, so I put my foot down. DAMN!!! I hear
> the slamming of
> the
> > cell door. Vagina? Sealed shut! Butt?? Sealed
> shut!!!
> >
> >
> > I penguin walk around the bathroom, trying to figure
> out what to do
> and
> > think to myself, 'Please don't let me get the urge
> to poop. My head
> may
> > pop off.'
> >
> > Hot water!! Hot water melts wax!! I'll run the
> hottest water I can
> > stand into the bathtub, get in, immerse the wax
> covered bits and the
> wax
> > should melt and I can gently wipe it off, right??
> >
> > WRONG!!!! I get in the tub - The water is slightly
> hotter than then
> > that used to
> > torture prisoners of war or sterilize surgical
> equipment - I sit.
> >
> > Now, the only thing worse that having your nether
> businesses glued
> > together is having them glued together and then
> glued to the bottom
> of
> > the tub.
> >
> > In scalding hot water!! (Which, by the way, doesn't
> melt cold wax)
> So,
> > now I'm stuck to the bottom of the tub!!! God bless
> the man what
> > convinced me I should have a phone in the
> bathroom!!! I call my
> friend,
> > thinking surely she's waxed before and has come
> secret of how to get
> me
> > undone. It's a very good conversation starter, 'So
> my butt and who-ha
> > are stuck to the bottom of the tub!' There is a
> slight pause. She
> > doesn't have a secret trick, but does try to hide
> the laughter from
> me.
> > She wants to know exactly where the wax is located.
> >
> > 'Are we talking buttock cheek or is it covering -
> you know -
> > Everywhere(cringe factor 20000 at this point)?'
> >
> >
> > She's laughing out loud by now...I can hear her. I
> give her the
> rundown
> > and she suggests I call the number on the side of
> the box.
> >
> >
> > YEAH RIGHT!!!!!!
> >
> >
> > I should be the 'butt' of someone else's work-night
> jokes. While we
> go
> > through various solutions, I resort to scraping the
> wax off with a
> > razor. Nothing feels better then to have your girlie
> goodies covered
> in
> > hot wax, glued shut, stuck to the tub in super hot
> water, and then
> dry
> > shaving the sticky wax off!!!
> >
> > By now, the brain is not working, dignity has taken
> a major hike and
> I
> > slip into glazed donut land. My friend is still
> talking with me and
> my
> > hand reaches towards the saving grace...The lotion
> they give you to
> > remove the excess wax.
> >
> > What do I really have to lose at this point. I rub
> some on and OH MY
> > GOD!!!!! The scream probably woke the kids, scared
> the dickens out of
> my
> > friend, but I really don't care!!
> >
> > 'IT WORKS!! IT WORKS!!' I get a hearty
> congratulation from my friend
> > and she hangs up. I successfully remove the
> remainder of the wax and
> > then notice, to my grief and despair...
> >
> > THE HAIR IS STILL THERE... ALL OF IT!!!!!!!!!!!
> >
> >
> > So, I shaved it off. Heck, I'm numb at this point.
> >
> >
> > Next week I'm going to try hair colour . . . . .
> >

this has been around a while--in fact, it was just posted a few weeks ago. Please no one think it really happened to the poster!

2007-06-13 07:48:09 by london lady

So, do you WAX?????

Only a woman can laugh at this. No one else would dare! Hope you enjoy!
This has to be one of the funniest and most awful scenarios I have ever
heard of... Bless this woman!!!

All hair removal methods have tricked us with their promises of easy,
painless removal. The epilady, scissors, razors, Nair and now.... The Wax!!

My night began as any other normal weekday night. Come home; fix dinner;
played with the kids. I then had the thought that would ring painfully in my

mind for the next few hours; "Maybe I should do the hair removal thing for
the month?"

So I headed to the site of my demise; the bathroom. It was one of those cold
wax kits. No melting a clump of hot wax, you just rub the strips together in

your hand and then they get warm and you peel them apart, press it to your
leg (or wherever else) and hair comes right off! No mess, no fuss. How hard
can it be? I mean, I'm no girly, girl, but am mechanically inclined enough
that I can figure it out.

*YA THINK!!!*

So I pull one of the thin strips out. It's two strips facing each together,
stuck together. Instead of rubbing them together, I get out the hairdryer
and heat it to 1000 degrees. Cold wax my rear end (Oh, how this phrase
haunts me!).

I lay the strip across my thigh. Hold the skin around it tight and pull.

OK... So it wasn't the best feeling, but it wasn't too bad. I can do
this!!!

Hair removal no longer eludes me!! I am She-Ra, fighter of all wayward body
hair and smooth skin extraordinaire!!

With my next wax strip, I move "north". After checking on the kids, I sneak
back into the bathroom for the ultimate hair fighting championship. I drop
my panties and place one foot on the toilet.

Using the same procedure, I apply the wax strip across the right side of the

bikini line, covering the right half of my vagina and stretching down to the

inside of my butt cheek (Yes, it was a long strip). I inhale deeply and
brace myself....

RRRRIIIIIIPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!

I'm Blind!!!!! Blinded from pain!!!!!!... OH DEAR GOD !!!!!!!!!!!

I'm making noises that only dogs can hear .

Vision slowly returning, I notice that I've only managed to pull off half
of

the strip. S**T!!! Another deep breath and RRIIPP...

Everything is swirly and spotted . I cannot breath or speak - I have
forgotten how ..

Do I hear crashing drums?????

Wait a few minutes and I'm back to normal (nearly) After all this I want to
see my trophy !!! - A wax covered strip with my hairy pelt that has caused
me so much pain, sticking to it. I want to revel in the glory that is my
triumph over body hair. I hold up the strip!

There's no hair on it!

Where is the hair?? WHERE IS THE WAX? Slowly I ease my head down, foot still

perched on the toilet. I see the hair... The hair that should be on the
strip. I touch. I am touching wax. S**T!!! I run my fingers over the most
sensitive part of my body, which is now covered in cold wax and matted hair.

Then I make the next BIG mistake . . . . . .

Remember, my foot is still propped up on the toilet. I know I need to do
something, so I put my foot down.

DAMN!!! I hear the slamming of the cell door.

Vagina? Sealed shut!

Butt?? Sealed shut!!!

I penguin walk around the bathroom, trying to figure out what to do and
think to myself, "Please don't let me get the urge to poop. My head may pop off."

Hot water!! Hot water melts wax!! I'll run the hottest water I can stand
into the bathtub, get in, immerse the wax covered bits and the wax should
melt and I can gently wipe it off, right??

WRONG!!!!

I get in the tub - The water is slightly hotter than then that used to
torture prisoners of war or sterilize surgical equipment - I sit.

Now, the only thing worse that having your nether businesses glued together
is having them glued together and then glued to the bottom of the tub.

In scalding hot water!! (Which, by the way, doesn't melt cold wax) So, now
I'm stuck to the bottom of the tub!!! God bless the man what convinced me I
should have a phone in the bathroom!!! I call my friend, thinking surely
she's waxed before and has come secret of how to get me undone. It's a very
good conversation starter, "So my butt and who-ha are stuck to the bottom of the tub!

There is a slight pause. She doesn't have a secret trick, but does try to
hide the laughter from me. She wants to know exactly where the wax is
located.

"Are we talking buttock cheek or is it covering - you know -
Everywhere(cringe factor 20000 at this point) ?"

She's laughing out loud by now...I can hear her. I give her the rundown and
she suggests I call the number on the side of the box.

YEAH RIGHT!!!!!!

I should be the 'butt' of someone else's work-night jokes.

While we go through various solutions, I resort to scraping the wax off with
a razor. Nothing feels better then to have your girlie goodies covered in
hot wax, glued shut, stuck to the tub in super hot water, and then dry
shaving the sticky wax off!!!

By now, the brain is not working, dignity has taken a major hike and I slip
into glazed donut land. My friend is still talking with me and my hand
reaches towards the saving grace...The lotion they give you to remove the
excess wax.

What do I really have to lose at this point. I rub some on and OH MY
GOD!!!!! The scream probably woke the kids, scared the dickens out of my
friend, but I really don't care!!

"IT WORKS!! IT WORKS!!" I get a hearty congratulation from my friend and
she hangs up. I successfully remove the remainder of the wax and then notice, to
my grief and despair...

THE HAIR IS STILL THERE... ALL OF IT!!!!!!!!!!!

So, I shaved it off. Heck, I'm numb at this point.

Next week I'm going to try hair colour . . . .
Yes bekah17 I have posted it before!

Why not........

i laughed my @ss off at this joke
it brought back humiliating, painful yet hilarious memories for me as i have tried several "hair removal" products including the wax with no success... (my husband can bear witness to this as he was the one that had to convince me as i lay dieing on the bathroom floor that i did not rip off my who-ha lips)
thank you for the trip down memory lane and the sidesplitting laughter!!!

2007-01-02 18:21:47 by Tink